My heart is heavy right now. Right now I want to go into every book store and library and buy or check out every book available on Black girls loving themselves.
I’m hearing far too often my daughter, 15, allude to her hair or while describing someone the first thing she mentions is whether they were light skinned or dark skinned. She has a boyfriend now and she told me she task him if he would still be with her if she had short hair…
All this made me think about what examples have I outwardly, yet unintented, shown her to make her think that she alone is not enough. Yes, I wear makeup, yes I have straightened my hair, yes I have been involved in a relationship where I have put myself on the back burner so that I could please him. All of these things, to her, were lectures on how to be a Black woman in America.
How do I undo this mess I’ve made. She is beautiful, talented, studious and very aware of the world around her. Time will only tell the journey that this will take. All of a sudden I want to put posters of beautiful black women on my walls and listen to beautiful black artist and watch positive black women on television to show her that she is of value.
Its so hard already living in a world where you feel you have to prove yourself every minute of the day. So hard to have to wonder in the back of your mind if the rejection was because I am black, or a woman or both. Or was it because I wasn’t qualified. The added stress of self image doesn’t make it any easier.
I want my daughter and every other daughter that looks like mine to know that its okay to love themselves. Every bit! From their hair, to their full lips, from their limps to their full hips. These features are to be embraced and not looked upon as lack.
Signed a Concerned Mother
I’m trusting and believing things will get better.