Our plans are not Gods plans

For two years, God had been telling me to “go”. I knew what that meant. However, I would second guess it.  One day I shared this command with my daughter and she didn’t take it so well. She actually broke down in tears. So guess what I did? I stayed. I thought it was best for her to be where her social network was and I didn’t want to interrupt her focus on school. She had been stable for quite some time and I refused to let my transition confuse things for her. So we stayed.

One evening, I was scheduled to teach a bible lesson but no one showed up. There had been some dialog amongst the teens in the back that I was unaware of. As we were leaving, my daughter said, ” Mom, if you still want to go, I’m ready now.” And that was the last time we attended there.

The feeling I got was such a peaceful calm. If I would have known, I woukd have left earlier. I asked God what we were supposed to do next. He told me to rest for awhile. Upon resting, I regained a sense of self. No longer did I have all this responsibility of teaching Sunday school, directing the young adult ministry or leading alter call. I was entering a season of rest and a place where I was going to be spiritually fed. But where was this place? I wanted more. A place where my gift would be acknowledged, a place of free worship, a place without so much structure.

During the following month I was being led to a church. However, I knew nothing about it. We decided to visit on the first weekend of the month with a plan to give it two weeks then we would proceed with our church tour. Upon walking in we were greeted and given a small tour of the church. As we were being seated, a young man walks up and starts to hug me. I gesture to huge him back and as I looked into his familiar face I realize that I was about to hug my estranged brother that I hadn’t spoke to in years. He is a Minister there along with his wife and three children. He held me so lovingly that all I could do was cry. I pretty much cried the whole time I was there.

The worship experience was amazing. People were dancing, shouting, some were speaking in tongues or giving prophetic Words to each other. Exactly what I was looking for.

During worship, I heard God say, “Take off your shoes”. I was confused and did not listen and a few seconds later He yelled it. As I tool my shoes off I heard, “Get comfortable. Make yourself at home.”

There goes my church tour plan. Lol. But reuniting with my brother and finding a place that fits me is so much better than my plan. Thank you Lord!

On the way home my daughter said that she was so thankful for the night she decided to finally leave. Because if not for that, we wouldn’t had been able to see what God had for us on the other side.

I’m trusting and believing things will get better.



There are so many times that we forget who we are. There are situations, experiences, or daily happenings that we allow to consume our lives. When we let that happen, we get caught up in all the negative energy that comes along with it. Forgetting all that we have already overcome. Forgetting that for someone to endure so much, they had to have been a strong person. Right? Well, that person is you.

No more of letting circumstance determine who you are. You are not your circumstance. You are you. Your destiny is not attached to the mello drama that this world provides for you.

If you are having trouble accepting who you are, get a plan and become who you want to be. I know some of you are imagining the areas in life where we don’t have total control such as relationships, employment, ect. I believe that everything has order and once you start believing in yourself there will be a new fragrance about you, you will shine differently, and you will be so wrapped in you that you might not notice all the blessings being thrown your way.

God has a plan for your life and its not attached to material things. His plans for you are attached to your obedience to Him.

We are human. However, we are more than the flesh we so often serve. Our body rentals that we work on so earnestly will change with age and time to something beyond our control. But our spirit is what we need to be feeding everyday so that we are filled with the goodness of His promises.

Are you willing to take the first step in changing your personal empire? Its going to take time. Rome wasn’t even built in a day. The first thing we should look into is changing our perception on how we view ourselves and the world around us. We have to change our way of thinking. If we aren’t valuing ourselves, how do we expect others too? Remember, we teach people how to treat us.

Its time for change.


I’m trusting and believing things will get better.


I was very excited about the night. I was going to a poetry spot that I like to frequent. I met a nice guy there. Very abrupt introduction but we shared the majority of the remainder of the night in each others company. In my last posts I talked about how I was in a sort of awkward position on dating. However, this guy was indeed worth it. I thought. After the poetry spot, we engaged each other at the local Denny’s and I figured things were going well. He was such a gentleman.

I was very excited that I paid for everything as I did at the Poetry spot. I didn’t take the time to see if that kind of thing bothered him. I still dont know. But yet and still he maintained his gentleman quality until we departed for the night.

I had such a good time the night before that I suggested that we go for coffee today…He declined. And not in a polite way. He was straight forward with a “no thanks”. Now I’m confused, embarrassed, I feel rejected and I am not sure what happened.

Even more confused.

What happened?

New Year

So I’m in the bed this New Years Eve. For more reasons than one. Although this is the case, my mind keeps going and I am excited about this upcoming year. I have so many projects to start, so many lives to touch and an overwhelmingly short time to do all this. Anybody ever feel like this? School starts back up in a week, I return to work on Wednesday, and I am raising a teenager all by myself. So you get my drift. Lol. My first project is to start blogging. Check. Then I would like to figure out a way to minister to the prostitutes who work the strip near my job. I don’t want to throw Jesus in their face, but I want to let them know that I’m available. I can pray with them or lean them an ear. Any suggestions? And in the midst of all this, I am working on a book. It is a biography coupled with poetry that I wrote. Poetry is another passion of mine. If there is anyone out there with the same passions, I welcome your input.